


Lightato

by surefire



Category: Death Note
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Rare Pairings, lightato
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 10:39:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4825988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surefire/pseuds/surefire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember that one episode where Light eats a potato chip? Yeah well this is from the potato chip's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lightato

Somewhere in Japan......

A teenage boy enters a gas station. He is the great Kira, or Light as some know him by, the world fears. In the past weeks he has killed people from all over the world, and no one knows how he's done it. The secret, a small, black notebook hidden in his pocket. It has the power to kill anyone whose name is written on it's pages; it is the weapon of a shinigami, a god of death.

I am simply a potato chip, I do not deserve the love of this great man who is the love of my life. Who am I to ask even to be touched by this great man. But on this great day in that small gas station that sort of smells like old men and drugs, I had the great privilege of being inside the bag that my one true love decided to take off the shelf and purchase with the allowance his mommy had given him this week.

His hand reaches for the shelf, I can hardly believe that this is happening, my one dream is coming true. I must be the luckiest baked, thinly-sliced, root vegetable in the span of the existence of eternity. My one love, the most wonderful, great, most powerful man in the universe was going to snack on me, a lowly sliver of fatty oils in starch form.

His fingers closed around the bag. If I had lungs and a mouth I would have inhaled, but sadly I do not. One of my fellow potato chip cousins cracked into three smaller sections when Light's hand came into contact with the bag. His name had been Karl-kun. I don't know if that was the name he called himself, or if anyone else called him that, sadly, potato chips were not blessed with the power of speech or even mouths to form words when our lord in Heaven created everything.

So the potato chip that I called Karl-kun died. It was sad. But potato chips don't cry because like talking, and breathing, that is another thing we cannot do. His soul shattered into 4 downsized chunks, and a cloud of potato chip dust and crumbs. Yes potato chips have souls, why wouldn't we?

Potato chip dust is sacred to our kind. It is like the ashes of our beloved ones who were unfortunately crushed by uncareful delivery men or three year old children who want to start a potato chip genocide. We treasure it and respect it. Please take note of that, it might just come in handy.

So onwards will the epic tale of romance!

Light-senpai lifted the bag off the shelf. Walked over to the cashier and set down the bag, killing Jenny-san and Simon-kun in the process- God bless their potato chip dust. He paid for my comrades and I in our little house of foil and left the gas station. Betty-san and Lillian-san were the next to go.

He brought us on the train with him, I wonder if any of the other 'chips wondered why he hadn't eaten us yet. I simply could not stand waited. Worry overtook me, what if he never ate us? What if he never even opened the bag? What if he bought us as a gift for someone?! Now I'm glad I do not have a heart that can beat unusually fast at times like these, because Light-senpai might have thought it was strange that his bag of chips had a heartbeat.

Finally he exited the train and walked home. It was close to midnight now and I think some of the others had dozed off. They seemed a bit more silent that usually. But that could be just cause Lillian-san was gone and everychip knew that Lillian-san had always been the chatterbug. Her dust had settled to the bottom of the bag. I could feel it around where my toes would have been if I had any.

Light-senpai walks inside his house. All the lights are out. I mean the lights as in the electrical ones that are plugged into the wall. The living Light walks upstairs to his bedroom, checks something on his door, then opens it, checks the thing again, and enters. He turns on one of the electrical lights and sits down at his desk. He is talking to someone, but there's no one else in the room. He gets out a book and starts doing his homework.

I feel disappointed.

Then though, right before I lose all hope that he is going to eat me. He opens the bag and sneaks a tiny screen inside. I am stunned. This might be one of his schemes to mess with the police; I might be a part of Light Yagami's plan to rule the world!

His hand reaches inside the bag and his fingers close around me. Yes, this is the moment, the one I have been waiting for! The moment my life has been leading to from the beginning. The reason I had been grown in the dirt, cut up into slices, dipped in oil, baked and shoved into a foil bag. All so I could be eaten by the great Kira.

*Crunch*

Light's thoughts as he eats the hero of this story:

"I'll take a chip, AND EAT IT!


End file.
